If I Were King

dispatches from the recliner throne

Feb 24, 2026

∙ Paid

King Bob sees this tattler sitting on his recliner throne : r/Recess

“Power does not corrupt the elderly. It merely removes the filter.” ~joe miller~

If I were King, I would not require a castle.

A well-appointed living room would do nicely. Good cross-ventilation. A thermostat that obeys without argument. A refrigerator within slow but manageable walking distance.

My throne would recline. My crown would be lightweight and adjustable. My royal scepter would, for practical reasons, resemble a television remote, though I would deny that under oath.

I would be a benevolent ruler. Mostly.

And from this position of measured authority, I would issue the following decrees:

Continue reading this post for free, courtesy of Joe Miller, Published Author.

Or purchase a paid subscription.